Monday, February 8, 2010

Covered! The Good News and Bad News

I am very fortunate to have full coverage for mental health (MH) services under my insurance(s). It is rare indeed to have 100% coverage for MH services, especially with no co-pay or deductible. Further, there are no limits on the number of times I can receive services within my lifetime or per year, etc. I am very grateful.

That being said, however, now that my psychologist has learned that I do indeed have coverage like this, that I wasn't just pulling her leg, I feel like the proverbial cash cow. I have office visits two, or sometimes three, times weekly. All in all, the care is good - the woman whom I see is professional, strong, and doesn't let me fall into a caretaker role with her. But I do feel as if I'm her dedicated revenue stream - perhaps she's purchasing a summer home? I don't begrudge professionals their income; the work they do is sometimes quite challenging, and it's worth compensating well. There's just a feeling of, I dunno, entitlement I guess. It bugs me. It's entirely possible that I'm just projecting, although projecting what, exactly, is beyond me.

On some level, I know that focusing on this issue is merely distracting me from the real, substantive work that awaits. I need a tighter focus, and an iron will to move through all of this. Courage is never lack of fear, for that is simply foolhardiness. Instead, courage is feeling the fear, but moving forward despite it. Onward!